Old Man, Young Man & Some Women

There I saw an old man walking by the river smiling on as if he went out cold of that unheard treason.

He smiled not like an old man but like a young lad just out of prison of lifetime singing to the unheard symphony of unknown songs. Funny as it sounds, old man found his reason to live at 80 when others of his age were developing arthritis. He had a long life, figuring that out from his age. I was sitting on a garden bench on that Sunday morning when he stood in front of me & said I’ll tell you a story. Without so much of an introduction, he introduced himself to me as a fine fella with some extraordinary accomplishments. Old age has something to do with spitting out words for no apparent reason, I always believed. But this fine lad did held a story so significant as to hold the fine lad like me to listen through his story. Guy seemed happy. So what the hell, I thought I went through the turmoil & woke up as a young Spanish man. And so he began

12 years it seems have passed without a hint of love.

Jared was in love with Ellyn since the day he saw her in 1999. The day was a nothing different than others but bright sunshine on a summer afternoon. Nothing made a difference but just that a heart felt a little different for the first time. It raced a bit or skipped a beat, it did. Couldn’t close on anything, so he felt it was better to let it go. Then for the other years it was a normal phenomenon when Jared saw Ellyn & because nothing was different in the world he never realized that he loved her. They passed years like others do in schools. Then they went their separate ways finding their own life with Jared going to be an engineer, engineering being the fashion & Ellyn becoming a Literature star. Both did well in life but something was meant to be different just when they thought that nothing will change forever.

The narration skips a little with 12 years gone with nothing to the story. Just that they interacted on the internet which was quite a buzz with facebook & orkut taking the traffic of the so called ‘virtual life’. Jared realized the love but couldn’t do anything because nothing seems to be in the heart of Ellyn for him. But now he knew that he wanted her more than ever. He knew he loved her but couldn’t say anything. Classic story not legendary though. But it was meant to be. They didn’t realize it.

As the legend goes, the confessions of secret love took more than a year just for a word to come out of a mouth. Jared thought it was late but he had a habit of never letting go of anything, stubborn arse at that, he was. Ego-maniac should suffice the dignity of this unknown soul. But finally he tried conveying everything he had but to no wonder, Ellyn didn’t pay so much of a respect to his word. She felt good to know that a boy wrote poems for him but in the 21^st century the old school didn’t have a thing to mention. Of course we know this is no Othello & I’m no Shakespeare but the legend says otherwise. Love, if it is, 21^st century or 17^th if it is, word is the same but differs in the disclosure of an agreement. It was about love back then but chocolate factory it was in the 21^st century. Love was not a fact anymore nor was cholera. Understanding of life was a more important word in the universe. Maybe population explosion was the reason but who cares this is no freakonomics.

Coming back to Jared, he tried convincing the woman he fantasized about since childhood to come on a date with him & she did agree not to his surprise. But it never happened. She was confused & he was perplexed. She did sound happy to have a word with him but a sudden change of heart on the girl did everything which of course needs no mention.

When I miss my mom!!!

It happened a long time ago. Nothing in my mind has a clear picture of what & how it happened. But I still remember the incident because it was when I lost my mom.

In her last days, when she was being treated for breast cancer, she was a little irritated & angry most of the times & I was the same with her. I was focussing on my new career which I had just found in engineering. I was trying to make it good in studies in college. So I hold nothing of a matter to my family but was just focussing on the stuff in college.

Every time I try to remember her, I see her eyes hardly opening which was when I last visited her in the hospital. She was on a lot of drugs & she found it almost impossible to hold her eyes open. But at that instant I never realised that it is the last time I’m seeing her open her eyes & see me. Otherwise I would have just hold her in my arms & told her I love you. But I was an arrogant little boy back then who just wanted to get home & watch television. In her last days, she was in a lot of pain & I never got close to her & said that I cared for you. I still remember her face when she last tried to open her eyes to see me. Maybe she knew that it was the last time she was seeing me & she smiled to me but couldn’t say anything. But a fool like me never got the signal. It was just like another time I visited my mom in the hospital.

It was that day & this day. I still try to remember like she existed in this world. It seems like I never got to her soul. I’m actually forgetting what it was like to feel when she was holding me in her arms. From all I remember it was the moment of life when everything seemed to have stopped & all the problems of world which seemed endless at the time vanished into the air. I miss that motherly warmth. I still cry in the nights, try to remember what it was like to have her around. What it was like to hear her scold me, slap me a little bit, hold me for a lecture or two.

For whatever of the days we live for, days with the mother are the days we remember of love. None can ever love a boy like his mother.